Jane VS Jane
by 2-shadows
Summary: Jane is at war with herself about beauty and about a boy.. But which castle inhabitant has caught this squire's eye?


_**A/N: I'll get back to Sleepless right away. Writer's block is a mofo. Enjoy!**_

_**If I owned JatD, would this be on a site called "**_**Fanfiction**_**"? No. So I clearly don't own it.**_

Intelligence Vs Beauty

Jane had always been an intelligent girl, and she was blossoming into an intelligent young woman. She was lithe, powerful and cunning as a squire, even though she lacked what physical assets some people had always insisted she would fail without. Jane would be only one of those things had Jester not given her his suit of armor: intelligent. But what is intelligence without a reason for it? A lady in waiting had no need for intelligence in that respect; she had to know about things of beauty and only that.

Jane cared little for things considered to be beautiful, and had no desire to take advantage of things deemed beautiful on her own body: her skin, encouraged to be pale as the ladies of the court, was burnt an ever present pink, the color giving precedence only to the brown freckles that grew more abundant each year; her frame, increasingly and aggravatingly more feminine with every passing day- Jane wrapped consistently tighter and tighter, hoping against all hope for her growing curves to flatten into the boxy shape that she had had as a child; finally, her hair, which had changed in a way no one had expected: it grew long and curly, but despite avoiding baths, rarely brushing her hair, and trying her best to remember to cut the copper mass, Jane had found that her hair was long, graceful and soft. All of these horrible, inconvenient, frustrating things she had to deal with.

But was it truely a problem?

Jane found that though she wished not to be vain, she could not help but wonder.. did he notice?

Did HE, the object of her affections, with his lovely tanned skin- Why did Jane's skin burn rather than tan? It looked so enticing on him- and his large, off grey eyes, notice that her skin was burned pink? Did he think her ugly because of it? Did he like how her unruly bush of fire had become a silky copper river? Did he care?

Every time Jane wondered, she scolded herself; she was a KNIGHT for the love of Caradoc. Why did it matter what a BOY(well, a _man_ now, as Jane was beginning to notice) thought of how she looked? And yet every time he spoke to her...

His smirk set her heart into frenzy. Everytime he called her, by the nickname only he called her, her stomach did flips. His large hands, for all of their callouses, still left warm spots whenever he touched her. Laughing with him was a joy; talking with him was even more so. And when he embraced her... When he embraced her, wrapping her in his strong arms, Jane turned to mush.

Jane had decided not to talk with Pepper about her foolish feelings. She could not tell Dragon either; both of those dear friends would have shared the secret of Jane's infatuation within a matter of minutes. She did not want to talk to Rake about it, and Smithy would listen but any advice would have to do with animals; Smithy was very smart, and also quite wise, for a stable boy, but relationships were not his thing. And she most certainly would not go to HIM about it. Regardless of how close they had become, all of their years of friendship would be shattered into an awkward emptiness, if he did not return her feelings. And if he DID return her feelings, she would still have to wait until she had her father and mother's permission.

That idea, of course, brings Jane back to her mother's expectations: Jane will give up her foolish dream, settle down, have children, and live as a lady-in-waiting. Jane will never do that. She feels warm from her core when she realizes that he would never let her do that either. She had invested too much of herself into being a knight. Without him though, she never would have had the courage to go through with it. Every shout of encouragement had come from _him_.

Suddenly, Jane knows what she must do. She does not want to do it, does not want to risk it, but she will. He is worth the heartache if her love is unrequited; there is no question of whether he is worth the risk if they are.

Jane leaps from her spot on the swing beneath the cherry tree. She sees His Little Majesty jump, as though her sudden movement after so long of complete stillness startles him. Jane smirks, because that is probably exactly right.

There.

She sees _him _sitting against the wall, peeling an apple. He has never liked the skin, even when they were children. He used to give her the apple, she would eat through the peel, and then he would eat the rest. her mother had put a stop to that when she was 10 and he was 12, insisting that one fool was enough to take care of at a time. On his 13th birthday, Jane had given him a small knife, perfect for slicing and peeling his favorite fruit.

In the years since their childhood, he has not gotten over his aversion to apple peels. Also, he has allowed his hair to grow, and parts of it fall into his face, flickering about in the light wind. Jane can feel her heartbeat began to race.

_You can do this, Jane. It is just a duel, like every day. He is your practice dummy. He makes a wonderful dummy. _Jane feels her heart in her throat. Just as she is about to run in fear, Jane hears _his_ voice.

"Jane? Is that you?" _MAGGOTS! _Jane thinks, grimacing before stepping out of her safe shadow and into the dangerous light.

"Yes, it is. Jester?" Jane answers, ending with only his name. She still has a way to back out...

"Yes, Jane is something wrong?" His voice is full of concern. Full of corncern for HER. _Now or never, Sir D'Ark._

_ "_Can we talk?"

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: Ok, I know I should be working on Sleepless, and I'm sorry. The beginning of this.. whatever it is... was me trying to write Sleepless Chapter 2. After I finished the first 2 paragraphs, I realized it didn't fit with that story, so I was seconds from trashing it. Kind of glad I didn't, but I'm not sure. Not sure whether I hate it or love it, honestly. _**


End file.
